


When Love Sets In

by YoungC651



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Complications, Fluff and Smut, I Love You, It's not kinky yet, M/M, Phan Smut, Romance, Unrequited Love, YouTube, a lot of sex maybe, just wait, relationships, skinny love, struggles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-11 00:55:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7017985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YoungC651/pseuds/YoungC651
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil have been friends forever. Or so we think. Maybe they were something more, or maybe we ruined it.\</p><p>It's not as kinky as you think it is. It doesn't get kinky for like 10 chapters</p><p>*once finished, I'll let you know the smutty parts cause why not?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Phan

I watched Phil make his video on his green and blue sheets that I've begun to love, with his genuine smile, and those stupid jokes that aren't even funny but make you laugh. In my head, I was on tumblr scrolling through porn and edits of Phil's face on mine. In real life, I was sitting. Doing nothing but staring at my friend attempt to make money for something he no longer wanted to anymore.

I'm not going to lie, I've stayed for the money. It's a lot of work, but I don't think I'd trade it for anything. (Maybe about 1,000,000 pounds). It gets harder to go out, to meet fans, to even talk to friends. We're known for being the best of friends, but we're not. We were at one point or another. It's the pressure. The constant reminder of how far we took this.

I rewatch our old videos, mainly Phil is not on fire and I can't help but cringe at the thought of a million people seeing that and wanted us to WooHoo with each other. I'm not going to deny the connection I believed we had in the beginning. But what I will deny is the rumors. I've heard that I'm secretly in love with him, that he's in love with me, that we're in love with each other, that Phil has a porn site, that I have a porn site. All crappy things.

We went out once. It was before YouTube. Before the fans appeared. Before our friendship became public. It was cool and all, but I realized that it would never work out. And I've denied it. And I will until I can't bear it anymore.


	2. Nightmares

I woke up with sweat on my forehead and my eyes shot red. I could feel my pulse and it was beating way too fast. I went over my dream again and again and again until I realized that it was real. His lips. His hand around my waist. The way he said my name. That voice echoed and for some reason, I couldn't get that out of my head. 

"DAN GO TO BED!" Phil yelled from his bedroom. I couldn't respond. My voice would be too shaky.

"Daniel! We've had this conversation a million times. I can hear you when you're awake this late, go to sleep. Please." He wipes his eyes, pleading to me with a low voice. 

"I'm sorry that my existential crisis is affecting your sleep." 

"We all die, what are we here for, what if Sherlock ends? It's all questions you've asked before." 

"Ok, ok. I'll try and go to sleep." I turn my lamp on, grabbing my phone as he goes back to his room. I scrolled through tumblr just to scroll. I wanted to find some meme, some photoshop to help me cope with all these emotions. I even thought about playing five nights at Freddy's. I needed to scare the shit out of myself. But I guess I really don't need a video game to do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading OMG


	3. Cereal

"Can you pass the cereal?" Phil asked me, swiping through his phone near the counter. 

"Why?" 

"...because I'm hungry and I want cereal." 

"W-" 

"Dan, you've been acting weird. Last night was normal until you turned on your light and literally didn't sleep. Now I can't even get you to hand me a box of cereal. What's going on? Is it another existential crisis?" 

"No. I just don't want to hand you the cereal that I bought. It's mine." 

"You never had a problem with it before."

"I've always had a problem with it, you snot." 

"You're so infuriating, Dan. I don't understand you anymore. You've always been annoying, but now you're just plain mean and cynical." 

"Stop using big words I don't understand." 

"It means you only care about yourself. That you'd do anything to get what you want, no matter what it does to others." 

"Phil..." 

"I need Starbucks." He grabbed his galaxy jacket.

"Can I come?" He put his coat on and stormed out the door not looking at me. 

"No." He whispered. 

*~*

During the hours upon hours I was by myself, I was left with my thoughts. All my worries and schedules and anxiety, it all withered away and I was stuck on one thing. Him. 

I was always an asshat, constantly smacking him when he wore the Edward Cullen's mask, making fun of his stupid jokes, hitting his head with a hair dryer. I knew I was annoying. I knew I was rude. But I never imagined myself in how he described me. 

"I'm BAAACCCKKK." I heard his voice from the front door. He was alone, no longer wearing his galaxy jacket, with vodka in his hand. 

"Phil, don't drink that. You know how you get." Phil doesn't drink. When he drinks, he changes. He becomes a dominant, stubborn guy. I only know from experience. 

"Dan! Pika Pika." He giggled. I smiled at his character. 

"Lets have a party!" He yells. "We'll invite so many people. We'll have candles, nachos, OH, and Louise can bring a stick of meat." 

"A stick of meat...." I nod. 

"It's gonna be so fun." I grab his arm before he can call anyone. 

"Babe, stop." He squeals, smiling at me. 

"You called me babe! Babe, babe, babe!" 

"You're acting crazy, you need sleep." He ran up to me and kissed my lips. "Well thank you." 

"You're welcome...babe. hehe, I'm a babe now. Goats are cool." 

"Phil-" 

"I wanna kiss again. They're soft." 

"What?" 

"Your lips." 

"My lips are soft?" 

"So soft, Danny boy." He squished my face between his hand and shook it. He let go and he ran to the bathroom. I could hear him vomit into the toilet. 

"Wash your teeth." I whispered in the hall. 

"Dan. Why did you let me drink again?" 

"It was the cereal's fault."


	4. Shower Stories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might add more to this chapter but idk, summer's close so I'll have more time.

I could hear Phil's groans whenever he must've turned in his sleep. It pained me to hear him in this much pain, but I didn't really give a crap. After all the hell he put me through, he deserves it. 

*~*  
"Morning." I say, and Phil holds his head, squinting his eyes. 

"Just think, after our show tonight, that pain will be gone." 

*~*  
After Show  
I could tell the screaming took a toll on Phil's little brain, but I am a bit of a sadist so I enjoyed it a but more than I should have.

We signed books, talked to fans, made jokes, and finally left. Louise was free for the night, so we hit the bar for a few drinks. Phil drank one too many. 

"Phil. I told you, you shouldn't drink so many." He groaned on the way home and went straight to his room without saying a word. 

After about 10 minutes of scrolling on tumblr, I realized my entire life was a lie and that MDE broke up, crushing my heart. I undressed and stood in the shower with hot water pouring on my back, helping the existential crisis get cleaned off. 

"It's Barney and friends." I hear Phil's voice echo. "Dan, are you using that caramel soap, I bought the marshmallow just for you. 

"Phil, go away." 

"Nopedy, nope nope." I hid behind the curtain, praying he'd leave soon. He laughed sweetly and slid off his jacked and shirt. He pulled down his pants and underwear moments before I could unsee it. 

"Phil, go away." 

"No, I wanna take a shower." 

"With me?"

"Yes, with you." He jumps in and I squeeze my eyes shut as he runs his fingers through my hair. I hoped and prayed he's just eventually leave. He didn't. Even when the water became cold, we stood there. 

He yawned, running a finger down my arm, watching the line he traced. His lips were puckered in a way he only does when he's tired. I whined and held his hand. 

"Phil." I said like a question. 

"Danny." He smiled, kissed my cheek and leaned me back against the cold shower wall. His lips tasted of liquor, and the taste of lipstick. The cold water dropped against our heads, with the light flickering ever so slightly. 

The lights completely shut off, leaving our breaths the only thing left heard. The water stopped, and water fell from the tips of our hair. Our heads pressed together, his breathing fast, his hands ran down my chest, and he turned me around, holding my hands above my head. 

I couldn't possibly understand what was happening. He whispered in against my neck, "What do you want me to do?" 

"I-" The doorbell rang. I quickly jumped out of the shower, grabbed a large towel and wrapped it around my waist. 

"Dan, forget the door." I ran down the steps and opened the door. 

"Um...I'm sorry I interrupted your shower. I came to inform you that the lights and water have been shut off, but we have technicians working in it right now and if there's any inconveniences, we'll be happy to try and," 

"DAN! Who's at the door?" 

"...help you."


	5. Repaying

"I can't get over it. It just keeps replaying and replaying in my head and I can't fucking help but let my anxiety get the best of me."

"Yeah, I understand."

"It's just, Phil's my friend. We had a thing, it's over. I'm straight. I like vaginas. I just... ugh!" 

"Dan, if I were you, I'd forget about it and move on. He was drunk and probably doesn't even remember it." 

"Then that means I've felt this for nothing. That I'm just another one of his toys he can fuck when he's drunk." 

"Phil isn't like that." 

"Has Phil ever dated a girl? Like, honestly, he's never brought one to the house." 

"Dan, I don't mean to be rude, but I don't want to talk about you and Phil. Life is hard enough without you constantly talking about Phil and your feelings for him. 

"Well, I didn't realize it was a problem until you addressed it. Do I talk about him a lot?"

"Constantly. I get you live in a house with him, I get you two had a thing, but things end and you need to get over it."

"You're completely right. I gotta go, thanks Louise.''

''Bye, Dan.''

I took the next two hours to relive my entire last 6 years of my life. It made me realize that I didn't just talk about Phil a lot, my entire life has revolved around him. I've slept in the same bed with him, I've been this close to touching him in inappropriate places during a video, I live with him for fucks sake, and I can't stand being away from him. I was worried that I talk about him a lot, and I never realized that I talk TO him a lot. He's my entire life and I never fucking agreed to that. But he saved me, and I'll live the rest of my life trying to repay him for it.


	6. Over Exaggerations

As I watched Criminal Minds in the living room, I tried reading Of Mice and Men for enjoyment but none of it worked. I spent the next 4 hours doing the exact same thing, reading the exact same sentence over and over again watching the exact same episode, trying to rack my brain for something, anything to take my mind off Phil. It just wasn't working. I know, I sound like some sort of teenager worried about their bf/gf, and I feel like one too. I've tried calling my family, letting someone, anyone know what I've been going through. They either didn't answer, didn't care, or couldn't understand. It hurt to know that at least half the people I knew, didn't give a fuck about my feelings, but I mean, I have a lot of them. 

"Louis... will you please, do something. I don't know, he won't talk to me at all and I don't know what I did... Louise, don't be that way. We know you love us and even though you have a lot going on, we're always here for you, please, is there anything you can do? ... LOUISE, STOP YELLING AT ME. Please. I fucking care about him, and I just-" I hear from outside his door

''Thanks Louise, you won't regret it. Is it because I swore?" I laugh, covering my mouth as soon as I realize. 

"He called you? When? I didn't know about this. What'd he say?" 

"Why'd he be upset? C'mon, you can tell me. Fine, night Louise, thank you by the way." 

While scooting past his door, I hear it open a split second after I would've been caught. He was on his phone, not noticing me. His eyes were glued to whatever he we doing so, and I couldn't help but feel jealous. 

"Phil?" 

"Yeah."

''Um, do you wanna go to Starbucks or something? We should get out of the apartment.'' He smiled and laughed.

''Where is this coming from?"

''I thought about what you said and I realized you were right.''

''...what'd I say?" His smile dropped. 

''You told me I was rude and cynical and annoying and that I'm not the person I was before.''

''I... i never said that, stop lying me.'' He laughed it off, and went around me, opening the door. 

''I'm not, Phil.'' He looked back at me. ''What hurt the most was that you weren't even drunk. It was early in the morning, you asked for cereal, I was being a jerk, you yelled and left to go get Starbucks and came back drunk.''

''I thought that was all a dream. It was weird. Did anything else happen? Something else happened didn't it.''

''Well, yeah.

“What happened, Dan?"

"Well..."

"Dan tell me.''

''It's just, it was stupid, You were drunk and came back home and I had you in bed and everything so I thought why not. So I took a shower, and I was just standing there, And you came in and it all went to hell from there.''

''What'd we do?"

“Nothing.”

 

“At least show me what we did if you can’t explain it.’’ He laughs. 

‘’I don’t think that’s a good idea.’’

‘’Was it sexual?”

“A bit. I was in the shower and you showed up and… and you took a shower with me. It wasn’t anything though, you were drunk.’’

‘’What’d I do?”

“You kissed me, and held me, and touched me, and then… and then the lights and water shut off and we just stood there. And then the doorbell rang and it ended.’’ I say slowly and then quickly.

“I don’t believe you.’’

‘’What do you mean? Why would I fucking lie about this?”

“You’ve always been so obsessed with me. I’m not into you, I’m straight and you need to get over it, I can't’ stand that you’d go that far to make me interested in you. I’m not some toy. I’m your friend and that’s all I ever wanna be, Dan.’’ I take in deep breath and smile. 

‘’It took you long enough to say that, I was waiting for you to admit it.’’

‘’Ugh, you’re so stupid. You need to stop tricking people.’’ He laughs. 

‘’Starbucks?” 

“Yeah, give me like 10 minutes.’’ he nodded and went back into his room. I went to the bathroom and stood in the mirror and let the tears flow as fast as they could. I wanted it all out, now. I need to stop. I want to be sane. I need to find something to distract me. To stop this obsession that I’ve had for so long. I couldn’t breath and I could hardly hold in the scream in my throat. I turned on the shower and stripped, sitting in the bath, I lifted my knees to my chest and weeped. 

The moment kept replaying in my mind. A silly crush is all it is and I’ll get over it. I need to realize that they’re other people. That we can never be “we” anymore. That what I’ve wished and hoped for, it was all gone with the simple conversation I’ve tried to avoid for the longest time. 

I swallowed my pride, my sadness, my emotions, my fear, my anxiety, my lies, everything and dried off. I stood in the mirror, put back on my clothes, and lifted my head, trying to keep all this pain from escaping me all at once. I’ve over exaggerated this feeling before, and I will until someone finally understands that over exaggerated doesn’t even begin to explain it.


	7. Bars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i just want to thank all of y'all for reading and giving kudos. i had a bit of a dry spell cause I mean, i was sad or some shit. You might not answer, but I have a question.  
> Do you want me to just get on with the smut or add a bit more context? cause I have ideas but I can start the smutty parts and have other books for the other ideas. Thxs

I’m just crazy. I need someone to tell me that I’m being stupid, that I’ll get over this, that I’m being silly. No one will, but everyone is all at the same time. I hear them talking to me, I listen, I understand, I just don’t care. I can’t help but ignore all thought except for him. The way he speaks to me, his eyes, his voice, his laugh, the way his hair gets messy when I touch it, his randomness. 

“Dan, are you listening?” Okay, maybe I didn’t listen the entire time.

‘’Oh, yeah.’’

‘’Dan, we all think the same thing, you can get over it, find someone else. It’s simple, but it’s hard to grasp. I get it. Why don’t we set you up on a blind date?” Tyler says.

“No way.’’

“Why not? It’d be fun.’’

‘’I don’t do blind dates. Hey, guys, don’t you feel bad for not inviting Phil, I think we should.’’ 

‘’Why? He hates clubs?”

“Yeah, but I mean, it’d be something to at least invite him.’’ I say quietly enough for only Tyler to hear, which is actually pretty loud. 

"Fine, invite him, but just so you know, we invited you so you could finally enjoy yourself without Phil. We get it, he's your friend. But you're fucking obsessed with him." He sets his drink down on the bar and starts dancing with Troye of all people. They kiss, it was a fast kiss, but fuck it, it counts. I call Phil even though Tyler obviously was "hinting" that I shouldn't. It rang about twice before he answered, his voice sounding sleepy and crisp. 

"We're at a bar across town. Do you want to come? I can pick you up.''

"We're?"

''Yeah, me, tyler, troye, jim, tanya, alfie, zoella, louise.'' 

'Ah, I see. You not at one moment think that it was rude to not even considering inviting me.''

''I wouldn't be calling if I never felt guilty about it.''

''Yea, but you should have told me before you and all of our friends went out and enjoyed themselves without me. I'm your friend, Dan.''

"Do you honestly think I wanted to be here. Do you even want to be here? I know you don't like bars. I know you don't like all these people. Neither of us would like being here by ourselves and I didn't choose to do that to you.'’

''Yes, but you agreed didn't you? Unless they spontaneously kidnapped you and you can't leave.''

''Well, I can leave, but I didn't want to leave"

"that's the point, Dan. You know what, it doesn't really matter. Are you having fun?"

"Not really."

"Then come home."

"But you're mad at me and I don't like mad Phil. He ignores me.''

"Come home, Dan. I'm not mad.''

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure.'' I of course, would much rather be at home with Phil than at this place. I would tell people I've left, but it's almost 1am and no one really cares about the weird, lonely dude in a bar talking to someone on the phone as if he was a five year old. I sat next to a very foul smelling woman with a baby in her hand and a man who hardly resembled a man. A few fans recognized me, asked for a picture or two, nothing special.

Phil was in his room, on his computer like always. He didn't seem mad or sad at all. He said hi and nothing else.

I went to my room incredibly confused. What do I do now? I honestly didn't like being at a bar and I don't want to create another argument but I'm not gonna sit here waiting for something to happen.

"Phil?" I yelled from my room.

"Yea?"

"Do you wanna film a video or something? It's kinda quiet."

"That sounds good. What's the concept."

"I'm thinking maybe the say anything challenge or the best friend challenge.’’  
“Or both. We can film a few and get some over with. We haven’t posted in like 2 weeks, our (phans) fans are fucking savage when we don’t post.’’ 

“Which one first?”

“Say Anything challenge.’’


	8. Filming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading ily <333

The air felt hot and thick, with the lights shining in my face. I was extremely uncomfortable. Phil's voice boomed, confidently and proudly whereas I was staring at the wall, saying nothing.

"Hey guys! Today I am here with Dan and we're going to be doing the... What are we doing?" Phil said.

"I'm not sure what it's called, but I saw Troye do it so it must be pretty cool. You say a word and the other person has to say another, BUT! The words must be related somehow and you can't pause for more than a second." I said a bit too softly.

"I feel like I'm going to lose this and I'm ok with that."

"No one even requested this I just wanted to see it." I paused rethinking what I had said. "I just wanted to see how it would happen and shit I meant, I'm gonna stop talking."

"Ok, who starts?"

"I don't know, most people just rock, paper, scissors it but that's lame."

"Scissors it?"

"Shush up. Flip a coin?"

"Too obvious."

"This is taking too long, you can go, Phil."

"Alright." He pauses thinking if his word. "Cat."

"Dog."

"Leash."

"Kinks."

"Babies."

"Bibs." I start laughing.

"Um, I don't know. Frick."

"That was good. But Phil, babies? Do you have a baby kink you haven't told anyone about? Is that why you always talk about eating children?"

"First of all, no I do not have a kink at all and second, probably." I laugh loudly, just like I always do, trying to to freak out.

"Go Dan, Hurry I'm ready to beat you... at the game I mean. Why is everything we've said in this game really sexual?"

"Sexual!" I yell, blushing. "That's the word, go!"

"Uh, feet."

"Money."

"Green."

"rainbow."

"Gold."

"What the hell do these have to do with each other."

"My feet have always been something sexual to these guys. Meanwhile you said money. Plus the gold is the pot of gold at the end of rainbows, you see."

"Well, I went deep and-" I stopped, "I'm gonna stop talking now." Phil laughs.

"Ok, this is the last one. And Dan, you'll need to talk to do this."

"OH! I forgot to say, the winner gets to tweet something off the other person's Twitter. It's half and half right now." He nods, thinking of his word, putting his hands and fingers through his hair, licking his lips.

"Ok. 1,2,3,go. Fingers."

"Hand."

"Arm."

"Leg."

"Chest."

"Back."

"Neck."

"Face."

"Nose."

"Eyes."

"Mouth."

"Hair."

"Penis?"

"wtf, ..hard?"

"Boners."

"Uh, sex."

"Humping."

"Girls?"

"What?" He sits in confusion. "Oh because you hump girls. I understand now."

"I stare at him with a, "are you kidding me face". He smiles and turns to the camera. Alright guys, I hope you enjoyed that. If you did, leave a like and subscribe. There's a box of dan's head, so go subscribe to him and if you didn't know, we have a gaming channel together."

"I need cereal now, that was too intense." I mumble loud enough for people to hear."

"Bye!" He says, leaving me a small, "bye." in the end. Let it be known that I hadn't talked as much as I usually do in this and I was completely disappointed in myself.

"Alrighty now. This is for your channel, right? The best friend tag or whatever."

"Yes."

*~*

"They know where and how we met. Ok, Phil. What is my favorite color?"

"Black, like your soul."

"This seems to easy, we already know all of this stuff."

"What other tags are there? just ask questions from other tags."

"Like what?"

"Like, when's the first time we collab-ed together."

"Wasn't it in the Phil is not on fire? I don't know."

"I'm looking it up... First time we ever- Oh my gosh." His face turns red.

"What?" I chuckle asking.

"First time we ever watched porn together? Never, sorry."

"Well, we were going to, but it was gonna be like that one with Tyler and I. We realized you people couldn't handle that so we decided not to do it. Plus, I don't want another kitchen utensil to be ruined for me."

"Whisks are still cool, even if they have stretches a vagina once it twice." He says, pointing at the camera, holding his hands. I look at him.

"I've literally never heard you say vagina before." I laugh, still looking at him weirdly.

"Well, I'm turning 30 in like 7 months, so I can say weirder things now."

"Like vagina?" I laugh hard, falling on my back, clutching my stomach.

"Yes, even vagina." He smiles. I shake my head as his phone rings.

"Hey." He whispers. "No, I'm filming with Dan...."

"Is everything ok?"

"Shh, Dan. Is it?" He glances at the clock, nodding. "Alright, I'll be there tomorrow at like 4. Bye, love you babe."

"Who was that?"

"That was Marcy. She's... a girl."

"I got that."

"She's my girlfriend." He stares at the camera.

I stutter in confusion. "What- What the fuck are you shitting about?"

"Dan, forget it."

"No, why didn't you tell me? Remember me, best friend? You could've told me this."

"Why do you care so much. It's not like, this-," he moves his hands back and forth between the two of us. “,was ever going to happen. You’re so passive aggressive. I can never fucking understand if you want something or not. I can never understand if you want us or not and I’m kind of tired of it.’’

“Phil? What the hell are you talking about? You’re the one who said you could never like me in that way. You’re the one who won’t tell me how he feels. I make it so fucking obvious that I’m in love with you. The way I talk to you, the way I look at you-”

“Shut up, I hate it when you’re right.’’ he smiles, looking to the ground. I smirk-smile, catching his lips as his head lifted. , lacing his hand into mine, he giggles against my lips.

“Dan.’’ He whispers as my hands caress his waist. His body shifts, his back on the bed, giving me the room to straddle him. I stroke his chest, pulling his sweats off.

“Dan.’’ He breaths. “Fuck.’’ He grunts, “Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, stop.’’ I don’t, giggling like a 4 year old. “Dan!”

“What? What could you possibly have to say or do right now?” I my fingers tease the border of his bright green boxers, biting my lips.

"Stop teasing Dan."

"I'm not, I'm not. I'm just taking..." I lower the boxers to the edge of his V line. "...my sweet...", they go lower. "...time." laying them on the floor.

"Fuck. I need Vaseline or lube or something." I whisper.

"I have some in the drawer beside you." I don't question it, and rub the edible lube into my hands and fingers. Grasping his shaft, I pump back and forth, up and down, watching his member get hard from my grip. Small moans escape his mouth as Iick his tip. 

“What do you want me to do?”

“Stick your rock hard cock in my ass. Fuck me like you're never going to let me go. Tell me you love me.”

“Well shit. I didn’t expect that, Phil. I’ve never heard you say anything like that before.’ I giggle. 

“I took that from a chatbot i was messing with the other day, I can’t sexy talk. That’s about all I got.”

“Well that explains it then. It doesn’t matter. All I need you to do.…” I kiss his cheek, whispering in his ear, “...is relax.”


End file.
